How to Have A Conversation With Your Children About Divorce

Photo of a mother comforting her daughter

Going through a divorce is extremely difficult; not only for the recently divorced couple, but for the children. Times like these can feel like such a family divide, especially for your children who might not know or understand what’s happening. It’s a difficult subject to talk about, but it’s important for your children to understand why it’s happening, and that it usually has nothing to do with them. Here’s some ways to make this conversation a little easier.

Don’t Downplay or Sugarcoat It

Your first thought might be to de-dramatize the conversation, but this might make you seem insensitive about it. Realize that your children will remember this conversation forever, and it will change their lives, so build upon that.

Put Their Needs First (Right Now)

Even though the divorce is literally about you, this conversation about the divorce is about your kids, because you’re deciding to let them in to your big life decision. Don’t let your emotions get in the way of explaining what’s happening, and reassure them that this was your decision and has nothing to do with them.

Be Detailed

No, your children don’t need to know the nitty-gritty details of your divorce, but they should know everything that they deserve to know. They will probably be curious and ask a lot of questions, so be ready with an age-appropriate response. Explain to them who they’ll be living with, how often they’ll see each parent, and any other significant changes that will happen after the divorce. Assure them that they can ask any questions throughout the process, and that you won’t be keeping them in the dark.

If you’re going through a divorce and would like further consultation on your divorce and/or child custody case, contact Divorce Attorneys – San Diego to help get you through this tough time.